a message for you.

before you go deeper into my thoughts, let me say a few words. 1. don't look for a tagboard. i didn't put one on purpose. 2. don't judge me. this is my page, not yours. 3. if you don't want to finish reading my latest posts, please read the image found at the bottom of this page. welcome inside my nutshell!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

long long story. bow.

it's been a while since i updated this blog of mine. so bare with me if this will be quite a long story.


to start with...
intrams
yay! we definitely dominated the school.
under the sun, the riscian seventh batch cheered the players in their respective sports. we didn't think of our opponents as novices in their fields (actually, the freshmen really showed something).
kya lang, hindi nmin masyadong kinareer ang individual events. we focused on the team sports. fortunately, may place ang seniors sa bawat sporting event.
yeepee! congrats batch 7!


tour
i expected it to be totally fun. kaso may mga bagay talaga na hindi inaasahan...pero okay na rin kc we were given the chance to explore and enjoy with our friends.
we first went to the museo ng katipunan. im not really fond of visiting such places kaya hindi ako masyadong nag-enjoy. pero nakakamangha talaga ung miniature katipuneros pati na rin ung iba pang tao na nkdsplay. heehee. db, arna?

after the museum, we to the bio-research sucat hypermart. there many interesting stuff in there but i don't like the idea of carrying a fish placed in a plastic bag wherever you go. haha. kaya in the end, binigay ko kay carlos ung fish. buti na lang nanghingi si emil kaya gumaya si carlos. aun...actually, kasama ko si arna. picture galore kami. hehe. bumalik na kami sa bus tapos...argh! lowbat na ung cam ko! wala pa kmi sa ek. huhu.

sa ek, i went with my friends. andun din c arna. tagal ko na rin hindi nka-bond ung best friend ko. hay...
anyway, it was the highlight of the tour. kso hindi ko na ikkwento ng buo kc bka lalong humaba tong post ko. ;p


home
it was the first time i saw my mom in terrible pain. physical pain.
grabe, ayoko siya makitang ganun...hindi ko kaya.
im hurting now because of her. hindi ko lang alam kung pano ieexpress.
our family needs help in prayer...


connections
bkt ganun? kapag ok kami, hindi kmi ok ni alter. pero kapag ok kmi ni alter hindi kami ok...
i realized that you can't really have everything you like. ang ewan kc. bigla nlng ngging ganun kht ayoko.
aun. back to him, binati ko sya nung birthday nia. i was half expecting na hindi sya magrereply kc gbe na. hinintay ko talaga ung midnyt para batiin sya. tapos bigla syang nagreply. nagkatext kmi. tapos naramdaman ko ulet un...ung unexplainable feeling of extreme comfort. kso bago pa lumalim ung usapan nmin, naggudnyt na ko. at around 1am, ngtxt sya. eto ung exact words:
wahai.psenxa n.pero sna wag ka nman sna lumayo.p2log plng ako.

kmusta nman un? redundant pa! haha. anyway, ayoko na sanang maniwala sa kanya. buti nlng, it was a very busy day nung monday.
kaya lang kahapon...nagkatext ulet kmi. nag-unli ako para sknia. naicp ko lang bumawi dun sa mga araw na hindi ko sya nirereplyan. panu ba nman, upcat ko pa sya huling tnext. at eto nanaman si unexplainable feeling. sya lang nkpgpagaan ng loob ko. sknia ko lang nasabi lahat ng pasanin ko, at pinapabalik nya ako. xmpre as a friend...
naramdaman ko ung loneliness nia lalo na nung ngkwento na sya. kya lang, kung alam sna nya ung kabilang side nung story, mas maiintindihan nya ang mga bagay2.
at aun. ung other side ng story ang pumipigil sken. ayoko na tlgang maniwala sknia eh. kso para syang magnet. kya iniicp ko nlng ung mga buwan na nahirapan akong mag-move on tska ung "need" na cnsbi ni arra. fortunately, nakapag-isip ako ng mabuti. ill be there for him but not totally. hindi na mababalik ang dati. hindi n din cguro ako "babalik". masaya na ako khit pano. contented and stronger. thanks to you.


**********

sori kung masyadong napahaba. :)

Monday, August 13, 2007

hold my hand

i was inspired by a friend's post in her lj account.
she's right.

we often see friends holding each others hands. as if it's one of the ways to assure him/herself that he/she has someone to hold on to. funny right? you'd often see them in kids.
but as people grow up, there would usually be less physical contact with their peers. sad truth.
there will be less holding of hands, less hugs, less kisses.

why am i actually saying this? it's because i don't want to experience it. para sakin, physical contact is a way of transmitting your feelings to another person. wala lang.



i'm actually losing grip of everything in my life.
my friends, my studies, my family. my connections with other people are slowly fading. i don't like it. yet i can't do anything about it.


please. hold my hand. and never ever let go.


sorry if this post is a bit sad. i'll make it up to you the next time.


**********


by the way, CHEERS TO THE SENIORS on thursday!!! :p

Saturday, August 11, 2007

exhausted

grabe. the 1st periodical exams are finally over. well, almost. may tle and cat pa sa monday.
at i really don't see the point kung bkt kukuha pa kme ng periodical sa cat. wala lang. i find it unfair kc kming cadets lang ag magtetest, eh pare-pareho lang kming studyante.

aun. im aiming for high grades now. wala lang. naging pabaya kc ako since 2nd yr. gusto ko bumawi. hehe.
physics? my good! paalam na pala high grades. *sigh* ang tricky nung questions.
fil? ewan. pasado naman cguro ako.
calculus. not bad 35/40 ako.
ap? aun...ap pa rin naman.
val ed? ay ewan! haha.
math? asa pa ko.
english. english. english. isa ka pa!
mapeh? hindi ako nag-aral. haha. ;p
research? naku!

haha. grabe. im so stressed. im now looking forward to our intrams. go seniors!!!! ;p

Monday, August 6, 2007

for a friend

like i promised. eto na un arra...

**********

meron akong isang kaibigan. matagal ko na rin syang kilala. elementary days pa.
tandang-tanda ko pa, close kami noon. kulitan dito, kalokohan don.
sad to say, kasabay ng paglaki ay ang paghihiwalay naming dalawa. may kanya-kanya nang grupo. gumuhit ng isang linyang tila nagtatakda ng hangganan naming dalawa. ewan ko ba. bigla na lang nangyari. hindi ko napigilan.

malaki na kami ngayon. may sarili nang buhay. magkaiba na ng kapaligirang ginagalawan.
isang araw may natanggap akong text message. nung una, wala lang.
musta na? eto, ok lang naman. blah. blah. blah.

nagulat ako nang bigla syang tumakbo papunta saken. hindi ko inaasahan ang pangyayari. umiiyak sya at may problema.
sabi ko pa nga, "alam mo? ang sarap mong batukan!"
oo. batukan. ang sama ko noh?
ewan. cguro nahihiya lang ako. hindi ko alam kung pano sasabihin na "halika nga d2. d2 ka lang sa tabi ko para hindi ka masaktan."

pero sa kakulitan ko, tingin ko naman, napatawa ko sya khit pano. sana nga.
sana nga nagawa ko yun sa isang kaibigang dati ko ring iniwan. na ngayon, ayoko nang iwanan.

upcat. and more. :)

yesterday was such an experience. uhm...quite.

i had my upcat in the morning and i don't know if i could pass the exam. hay. i wish. ;)

after the exam, my mom and i went to tondo to pay our relatives a visit. they are from my father's side. ang saya grabe! haha.
pero may tanong ako... bakit kelangan pa mgng pinsan ang isang lalakeng wafoo? hahaha.
marees and i met at puregold. tapos we went to their house. aun, kwento kwento. chika chika.
i was sitting on the antique chair (it's actually a table being used as a chair), when rj entered the house. aww! ang wafoo nman! hahaha. he saw me. nagjoke pa na magmamano. nagbless muna xa sa mga elders (kela momi, tita ran, tito mel at tito marlo) tapos tumabi sken.
tapos...binato ba naman ako ng unan??!!!! my good! sapul ako sa mukha ah! xmpre, bawi naman ako. hehe.

so much for that.

edi nagkwentuhan lang kme ng mga latest na pangyayare sa buhay.

at eto ang punchline ni tito rommel:

remember reika, if you copy from a book, that's called plagiarism. but if you copy from seeeeeveral books, that's called research.


haha! ang benta ng tito ko! hmm... sabagay, may point xa. :))


aun...madalas mabanggit ang upcat, college at ang aking debut.
mas excited pa ata cla saken eh. hehe.


**********


nag-unli na din ako pagkatapos ng isang buwan. wala lang.
nagtext kc xa eh. ewan ko ba kung bakit hanggang ngaun, napakalakas pa rin ng impluwensya nia saken. akala ko mababawasan na eh. hindi pala. lalo pa atang tumindi. pero sana mali ako.
ayoko na ulet umasa at masaktan eh. tama na ung ilang buwan ng pagtitiis ng kalungkutan.

pero ewan. bakit ba kasi...
i'm missing us?

Saturday, August 4, 2007

mac arthur

ive just finished reading bob ong's mac arthur. it was released recently and i'm telling you,it's really worth it.
he really captures my heart when it comes to imparting messages in a different way. this time, ong told his young readers of what life would be when you lose grip of everything in your life.
the story is about four teenage guys who are addicted to drugs and are inclined to stealing. as the story goes on, each of them encounters a problem and eventually, one of them dies.
i won't go any further than that. just read it. haha. hindi talaga kayo magsisisi. :)

"Dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung di mo pagtitiyagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi."

hell days

these days have been extraordinary to our batch.
requirements here. requirements there.
review this. don't forget that.
the upcat reviews are finally over. and today, half our batch had already faced the up college entrance test. i'll be one of those tomorrow's victims. i'm not nervous but i'm quite uneasy. alam ko kc na whatever i answer tomorrow would shape my future. *sigh* i hope i can do it.


congrats batch seven! db nga? sbe natin, taga-up na tayo! :D



aun...so after the upcat, whether we like it or not, we have less than two days to accomplish our clearance. my good! (sabi nga ni cecil) next thing we know, tapos na periodical exams. tapos intrams na pala. taapos defense ko, three days after, tour na! shocks! may ncae pa kme.

goodluck talaga samen. hay...


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wala pang intrams, injured na ko. haha. nasipa ako last thursday while having our bbol practice. ouch! pilay ang reward ng konting kcyahan.
pero aus lng. debbie spent the night in our house. tinuruan ko xa ng mga bagay na namiss niya sa review. aun, khit msket and paa ko, masaya pa rin nman. :)